I'm still waiting for some of the quotation practice exercises from yesterday. Some folks really struggled with this. I'll post the correct responses tomorrow.
All grades should be up-to-date; please check and resend any material that has not been correctly recorded. Lots of empty spots!
Note that the following assignment encompasses two days and has two parts. Please send along as one unit.
* For those of you who sent along both parts of the two-day assignment, please check part 2. This is NOT a rearrangement of a list, but the writing of a news story. See example:
An 18-year-old SUNY Geneseo student was killed in a crash Tuesday afternoon, deputies say.
It happened just after 2:30 p.m. at the intersection of Route 63 and Court Street in Geneseo. According to investigators, a truck hit the side of a sedan. When deputies got on scene, they say they girl was trapped in the vehicle.
"It is pretty scary if you don't see the stop sign right away," says Kelli Sperino-Pease, Geneseo resident. "The trucks are coming down this road pretty quickly."
Sheriff Thomas Dougherty says the preliminary investigation shows that the 18-year-old pulled into the path of the tractor trailer. We asked if a car sitting at the stop sign on Court Street can easily see traffic coming north.
Enjoy your day :)
FIRST REVIEW THESE 6 RULES.
Take your time and note the examples. I hope these are familiar by
now. Make sure to know the following terms: attribution, blind
lead.
Rule #1: A straight news lead should be a single
paragraph consisting of a single sentence, should contain no
more than 30 words, and should summarize, at minimum, the
most newsworthy "what," "where" and "when" of the story.
Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday
morning."
The lead is a single-sentence paragraph. Note, please, that a lead
should be written in ordinary English, not the clipped phrasing
reserved for headlines like "Main Street home destroyed in early
morning fire."
Headlines, which appear in large print above the stories they
introduce, are written that way to conserve space.
It contains 10 words -- far fewer than the 30-word limit. Notice
that the word count includes even little words like "a" and "on."
It summarizes the main "what" of the story, which is that fire
destroyed a house.
It also provides the "where" of the story with the phrase "on Main
Street."
Finally, it gives the "when" of the story with the phrase "early
Monday morning."
Important note: There are some mental gymnastics involved in
correctly conveying the "when" of a newspaper story. Suppose, for
example, that today is Monday, and the fire happened this
morning. You might be tempted to write the lead like this: "Fire
destroyed a house on Main Street early this morning." And doing
so would be just fine if your lead were going to be published that
same day. But most newspapers get printed overnight and
distributed the following morning. That means that a reader who
picks up the paper Tuesday morning and reads that the fire
occurred "this morning" will inaccurately assume that "this
morning" means "Tuesday morning." To avoid this problem, you
have to write the lead - and, indeed, the entire story - so that it will
be accurate when read during the reader's time frame: "Fire
destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday morning."
Rule #2: The lead's first verb should express the main "what" of
the story and should be placed among the lead's first seven words.
Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday
morning."
The verb "destroyed" expresses the main "what" of the story.
"Destroyed" is the lead's second word -- a position that puts
"destroyed" well in front of "Street," the lead's seventh word.
Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like
"a" and "on."
There are no other verbs in front of "destroyed," so "destroyed" is
the lead's first verb.
Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the
story is about.
the story and should be placed among the lead's first seven words.
Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday
morning."
The verb "destroyed" expresses the main "what" of the story.
"Destroyed" is the lead's second word -- a position that puts
"destroyed" well in front of "Street," the lead's seventh word.
Again, notice that the word count includes even little words like
"a" and "on."
There are no other verbs in front of "destroyed," so "destroyed" is
the lead's first verb.
Following this rule will force you to quickly tell readers what the
story is about.
Rule #3: The lead's first verb -- the same one that expresses the
main "what" of the story -- should be active voice, not passive
voice.
A verb is active voice if the verb's subject did, is doing, or will do
something.
Example: "Fire destroyed a house on Main Street early Monday
morning."
"Destroyed" is the verb.
"Fire" is the verb's subject.
"Fire" did something. It destroyed.
A verb is passive voice if the verb's subject had, is having, or will
have something done to it.
Example: "A house was destroyed by fire on Main Street early
Monday morning."
"Was" is the verb.
"House" is the verb's subject.
"House" had something done to it. It "was destroyed."
Rule #4: If there's a "who" involved in the story, the lead should
give some indication of who the "who" is.
First example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died Monday when
an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."
The "who" is "an elderly Murfreesboro man."
In this case, the "who" probably isn't someone whose name readers
would recognize.
As a result, the "who" angle of the lead focuses on what things
about the "who" might make the "who" important to the reader. In
this case, it's the fact that the man was older and lived in
Murfreesboro.
That's called writing a "blind lead." The man's name will be
given later in the story.
Second example: "Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday
when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."
Smith is the local mayor, and most readers probably will recognize
his name.
As a result, the lead gives his name.
an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."
The "who" is "an elderly Murfreesboro man."
In this case, the "who" probably isn't someone whose name readers
would recognize.
As a result, the "who" angle of the lead focuses on what things
about the "who" might make the "who" important to the reader. In
this case, it's the fact that the man was older and lived in
Murfreesboro.
That's called writing a "blind lead." The man's name will be
given later in the story.
Second example: "Murfreesboro Mayor Joe Smith died Monday
when an early morning fire raged through his Main Street home."
Smith is the local mayor, and most readers probably will recognize
his name.
As a result, the lead gives his name.
Rule #5: The lead should summarize the "why" and "how" of the
story, but only if there's room.
Example: "An elderly Murfreesboro man died early Monday
morning when fire sparked by faulty wiring raged through his
Main Street home."
"... fire ... raged through his Main Street home ..." explains why the
man died.
"... sparked by faulty wiring ..." explains how the blaze began.
Rule #6: If what's in the lead needs to be attributed, place the
attribution at the end of the lead
Example: "Faulty wiring most likely sparked the blaze that
claimed
the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city's arson
investigator concluded Monday."
Attribution is simply a reference indicating the source of some
bit of information.
In this case, the attribution is the phrase, "the city's arson
investigator concluded Monday."
Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than
objective, indisputable information.
Here, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that the man is
dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early
Monday morning, and that he house was on Main Street.
But the arson investigator's assertion that faulty wiring caused the
blaze represents the investigator's opinion (based, of course, upon
his training and expertise - but an opinion nonetheless). Therefore,
the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers
can decide how credible the assertion is.
With the inverted pyramid, the guiding principle is that the most
important (and most recent) information goes on top. As the reader
progresses through the story, the information gets less and less
important, and older. In an inverted pyramid story, the story is not
told chronologically. Instead, we put the climax at the beginning.
It’s the result that readers care about.
Sprinkle in a few key quotations from your sources, and you have
— voila! — a classic inverted pyramid news story.
1.For readers: they can skim the top of a story and know they
have read the most important information.
2. For editors: they can cut the bottoms off of a story and know
they’re still saving the most important part for readers.
3. For writers: they have an easy way to organize their thoughts —
from most important to least important.
claimed
the life of an elderly Murfreesboro man last week, the city's arson
investigator concluded Monday."
Attribution is simply a reference indicating the source of some
bit of information.
In this case, the attribution is the phrase, "the city's arson
investigator concluded Monday."
Generally, attribute assertions that represent anything other than
objective, indisputable information.
Here, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that the man is
dead, that his house was destroyed, that it all happened early
Monday morning, and that he house was on Main Street.
But the arson investigator's assertion that faulty wiring caused the
blaze represents the investigator's opinion (based, of course, upon
his training and expertise - but an opinion nonetheless). Therefore,
the assertion needs to be attributed to the investigator so readers
can decide how credible the assertion is.
With the inverted pyramid, the guiding principle is that the most
important (and most recent) information goes on top. As the reader
progresses through the story, the information gets less and less
important, and older. In an inverted pyramid story, the story is not
told chronologically. Instead, we put the climax at the beginning.
It’s the result that readers care about.
Sprinkle in a few key quotations from your sources, and you have
— voila! — a classic inverted pyramid news story.
Why is the inverted pyramid so important to
journalists?
journalists?
1.For readers: they can skim the top of a story and know they
have read the most important information.
2. For editors: they can cut the bottoms off of a story and know
they’re still saving the most important part for readers.
3. For writers: they have an easy way to organize their thoughts —
from most important to least important.
Assignment: due by the end of class on Thursday. Note
that there are 2 parts. Send both parts
together. Friday will be a make-up day for any material
that is still owed.
Part 1: Below you will find a news story
consisting of 15 paragraphs. (by now, I am sure
you realize how short a news story paragraph
can be.) Demonstrate your understanding of
the inverted pyramid, by organizing the story
from the most to least important information.
Copy and paste the correct organization onto a
word document.
Iowa Dam Ruptures Under Torrential Rain
By CHRISTINA CAPECCHI, Published: July 24, 2010 in The New York Times
PARAGRAPH 1
Rising waters washed out the berm, and large chunks of the road on the dam broke off. “It just peeled off eight-foot sections and dumped them,” said Shirley Helmrichs, the Delaware County supervisor. “The light poles started falling like matchsticks; they just started snapping over. You could hear this crunching, this rumbling. It was like the dam was just growling.
PARAGRAPH 2
The vortex on the lake side of the dam shredded boats, docks and trees, Ms. Helmrichs said. “It just took seconds to shuck them through,” she said. “From perfect to tiny crumbs.
PARAGRAPH 3
PARAGRAPH 4
”Heavy rain ruptured the Lake Delhi dam on Saturday, sending a torrent into the Maquoketa River below and forcing the evacuation of hundreds of homes and vacation cabins in eastern Iowa. Officials estimated that 8,000 people were affected by the flooding. No injuries or deaths were reported.
PARAGRAPH 5
.”Unrelenting rainfall — 15 inches in the past 48 hours, according to Jeremy Sands of the Delhi Fire Department — caused the early afternoon breaching of the 83-year-old dam. “The dam wasn’t unsafe,” Firefighter Sands said. “It’s just one of those acts of God.”
PARAGRAPH 6
Ms. Helmrichs said she saw a house topple off its foundation. “It just tumbled down, slow motion, into the river,” she said. “It was just so eerie.”
PARAGRAPH 7
At least half a dozen homes were swept away in the flood, according to another Delhi firefighter, Dennis Wilson. “There’s so much turbulence that it washes the soil away from under it, and the houses go with it,” he said. “We’ve never seen anything this wild.”
PARAGRAPH 8
Warning sirens sounded in nearby Hopkinton, a town of 700, and Monticello, which has 3,700 residents. The waters reached thousands of acres of farmland and rose to record heights at several points.
PARAGRAPH 9
Ms. Helmrichs estimated that 700 homes and cabins were evacuated.
PARAGRAPH 10
The flood crested in Manchester, north of the dam, at 24.5 feet, clearing the record of 21.66 feet, set in 2004, according to Mr. Ryan, the emergency manager. “Doing disaster assessment is going to be a nightmare,” he said.
PARAGRAPH 11
The flood became the main attraction at the Jones County Fair in Monticello, where performances by Styx and Joan Jett Saturday night were canceled.
PARAGRAPH 12
Locals packed up and sandbagged, watching and waiting, while a sparse crowd of visitors milled through the muddy fairgrounds.
PARAGRAPH 13
A section of earth about 125 feet wide and 40 feet deep gave way, said the Delaware County emergency manager, Mike Ryan. “It’s the worst damage I’ve been associated with,” he said.
PARAGRAPH 14
At the Kathy’s Kettle Corn stand, Jamey Dirks, 40, said he sold about 30 bags of popcorn when he typically would have sold 500. He put up a sign: “Boat races Sunday 1:00 p.m.”
PARAGRAPH 15
Gate attendants stopped charging admission by 4 p.m., and by 5 p.m., a booth selling $3 beer tickets was abandoned. |
Inverted pyramid checklist: This is the rubric with which you will be graded.
a. Does your story begin with a solid straight news lead, one that meets all five of
our criteria.
our criteria.
b.Is the story free of unattributed opinion?
material generally relegated to the bottom?
d. Are there adequate quotes? from clearly identified sources? Punctuated
properly?
e. Do the transitions work between each paragraph?
Part 2: Write a complete news story in inverted-pyramid form
based upon the following facts. Note how short the paragraphs
are! Keep to the facts, but adjust to your own personal style.
This is not an essay, but a news story!
- A female coyote was captured Thursday.
- The coyote had been roaming the streets of Lower Manhattan in New York City.
- A coyote captured uptown in January was set loose in Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx.
- By law, coyotes captured in the city must be released within the five boroughs.
- Officials at the parks department refused to say Friday where in the city they intend to release her.
- The city wants to prevent people from harassing the 30-pound coyote in her search for a more suitable habitat, said Vickie Karp, a spokeswoman for the department.
- “We pick the largest and most suitable natural habitat for the coyote,” said Vickie Karp, a spokeswoman for the department. “And for the sake of people, we’ll put the coyote somewhere with plenty of open space so people don’t have to say, ‘You parked him in front of my house.’”
- The coyote is being monitored at the Animal Care and Control shelter on East 110th Street, parks officials said, adding that the animal is resting comfortably in the and they did not know when she would be released.
- With the increase in coyote sightings in the past few years, several New York agencies have been working together to develop a plan on managing the population, said Kevin Jeffrey, a deputy parks commissioner.
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