Jonathan Swift wrote his satirical essay on the treatment of the poor in 1729. Here is an updated version for our times
I have been unsure as to how to best conclude our unit on satire. It appears that our social and political times are patently ripe for this type of humor and ridicule. Hence, yesterday the following article was published in the Guardian, and how apropos!
Assignment: Please read the following editorial, which is an opinion piece in satirical format. Having recently read the original A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift -I had told you that it was a cultural touchstone- you will be familiar with the ironic tone (Juvenalian as opposed to Horatian-check last Thursday's blog) that is rooted in contemporary issues on refugees and human rights.
I am not looking for an analysis, as you did before, but would like you to write how response to this editorial.
I know we have not covered formal editorial writing in here, but the procedure is something you all should be familiar with from 11th grade, as it was assessed on the Common Core exam. You are not to break the work into its rhetorical components, but follow this format:
1. Start your editorial with a thesis-like statement.
2. Lead with an objective explanation of the issue.
3. Present the opposing argument first.
4. Present your reasons/evidence that directly refute the opposition.
5. Make your solution known.
Notes: no I think or I believe. Make a statement and support it. Proof read for capitalization, grammar, punctuation and subject / verb agreement. Weave in text from the article. If you are unsure as to what is being referred to in the satirical piece, do some research. (Know what you are talking about!) What is Trump proposing? What is his reasoning? What are the facts, as opposed to the emotional, populist fears that are being flamed?
There are a couple field trips this week; so lets make this due on Thursday at the close of class.
Length: approximately 400 words.
A Modest, Modern Proposal – updated for the Trump administration
AModest, Modern Proposal For preventing the Descendants of Immigrant and Indigenous Americans, as well as Slaves and Pioneers, Recent Refugees and Pilgrim Refugees, from being a Burden on their Politicians, Enforcement Officials or Country, and for making the efficient perusal of their genetic heritage and national/religious affiliations Beneficial to the Publick – (after Jonathan Swift, 1729).
1 – It is a melancholy object to those who travel through this Once-Great Nation to consider the difficulties in enforcing new Regulations on Citizenship, and also to view “the rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape” as Referenced during the Inauguration.
2 – I think it is agreed by all Parties, meaning Two, that prodigious numbers of humans are because of appearance (melanin, hair, eye, mouth, limb) or age (infant, extremely aged), costume (dresses, jeans, eyeglasses, professional-sports-gear, hoodies, scarves, boots, stiletto heels), or geographic location (lettuce field, fulfillment center, elementary classroom, college cafeteria, hospital, truck) impossible to identify as Citizen or Non-Citizen. New methods shall be necessary, and also shall be an Economic Boon.
3 – First there should be Laminated Cards, and Lanyards. These are Primitive but Practical early necessities which, more importantly, allow for early Job Creation – favorite term of Politicks since 2011. Manufacturing Jobs will abound in each State, where fabrication of a card for each human, as well as the production of laminate, will necessitate hiring of Americans. Presently, Identifications are inconsistent and diverse: green cards, work visas, student visas, travel visas, passports, etc. These laminated National Identification Cards, worn at all times, even by infants, will be the Early Phase. (As at Daycare, Summer Camp, College, or Work, Lanyards prevent Loss.)
In varying shades, depending on the human, text may read:
I look “Latino” or “Hispanic” but I am Filipino-American; my Spanish surname is the result of colonization.
I look “White” but have a Mexican surname because my ancestors were Germans who settled in the state of Aguascalientes.
I look “Muslim” but I am an evangelical Christian whose tribal affiliation in Nigeria is Yoruba.
I look “Mexican” but I am Brazilian.
Yes, I have no surname - man, what’s wrong with you? Didn’t you watch the Olympics?
We will quickly rebuild our Economy with these factories, in each state, as well as the factories producing new uniforms for Enforcement Teams, and fabricating new Fleet Vehicles. It would be hoped that Americans are willing to take these manufacturing jobs.
4 – For those who are Dubious, let us Enumerate the Impracticalities of other options:
Cloth, as used in the Yellow Stars of David, first introduced in Poland in 1939, then modified in Germany in 1941, and which use was inconsistent then with Polish Jews wearing a star 10 centimeters wide on their right arms, just below the armpit, and German Jews wearing a larger star (“Jude” identified merely religion, and nothing else) on the left side of the chest, would never work with the Variety of Clothing now available.
Metal, as used in Dog Tags worn by American military members, no matter their ancestry or religion of place of birth, is easily destroyed, as evidenced by the trend begun during the Conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, where bodies were Dissembled by roadside incendiary devices and other means, so that those fighting for Peace had their Dog Tag information tattooed on their bodies for certainty of identification for Loved Ones at home.
Tattoos, also used in Nazi Germany, wherein a sequence of numbers were inked onto the wrists of humans taken to concentration camps, are not an Industry that can be “brought back to the places in our nation ravaged by job loss,” as there are too many health issues with injection of ink, and as well a Multiplicity of Tattoos can already be found on many humans residing in America, sometimes Full Sleeves.
Slave Passes, commonly used before the Civil War, were handwritten with specifics – One Colored Man, Allowed on the River Road, for One Day, July 12, 1854 – and meticulously cared for by their bearers, to avoid beating or death, but were merely Paper, and most Americans have no use for Paper, or for Cursive Writing.
Chips, embedded under flesh, might require frequent removal and alteration as to discoveries: if a human finds he was adopted, if a daughter finds her mother lied about her parentage, if a refugee becomes a citizen, if a citizen becomes a refugee, if Pilgrims become Banned, if someone who was once not legal to marry becomes someone else.
5 – The Second Phase, Therefore, avoids Inconsistency and Impracticality, and Creates even more Jobs. With Advances in Science, as evidenced by Ancestry.com and 23& Me, visible on Television to Anyone in the Current Administration, all Residents will be Required to Pay for their own DNA Tests. Many Americans are already subject to blood and urine analysis, such as professional athletes and fulfillment associates, so Mandatory Testing is both Logical and Beneficial.
Remarkable Industry will thus be located in all Fifty States, and possibly Guam, Puerto Rico, and Some Other Places.
Remarkable Industry will thus be located in all Fifty States, and possibly Guam, Puerto Rico, and Some Other Places.
DNA Processing Laboratories will require new employees – Alas, most of these workers will need Higher Education in Genetics, Technology and Support, Computer Engineering, and other areas for which the Nation now imports H1B VISA employees, but there will be need for Phlebotomists, to efficiently Draw the Blood, lines of hopeful faces and children clutching at knees, everyone with a Small Bandage on an arm. There will be more need for Manufacture of Bandages.
6 – Barcodes, then, will be the Triumphant Result of the Aforementioned Chromosomal Processing, and those Barcodes will be transferred onto the Laminated and Lanyard-Held Cards. The most Impressive Job Creation, then, will be Enforcement and Construction of New Enforcement Centers.
Massive Enforcement Centers would be more Beneficial, and Construction Jobs will be created, building along the model of Brightly-Lit Fulfillment Centers, which now occupy thousands of acres in America, and work so well for Various Corporations. In each state, Enforcement Centers could be Centerpieces of Modern Design.
Whereas Jonathan Swift’s 1729 Proposal was detailed and intricate, but far too lengthy for 2017, whereas Primary Communication for the Powerful is often restricted to 140 Characters, let this summation be brief.
I profess that in the sincerity of my heart I have no Personal or Potential Profit in this endeavor, no other Motive than the Publick Safety of my own neighbors, one family which has members born in Mexico, California, and Arizona, whose teenaged son asked me recently “Are we all gonna have to wear Green Cards around our Necks?”, as well as my own children, whose genetic American heritage is African, Cherokee, French, Swiss, Irish, Refugee, Indentured, Immigrant, Coloradan, Tennessean, Oklahoman, Californian, so that my Only Desire, which Desire is commonly shared among all Humans, is that my Descendants not be summarily Detained or Taken from their Native Land, or from me.
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